Frequently Asked Questions

Q: I’ve seen the profiles of some of your ladies on other sites, how can they be genuine?
A: It would be unfair to ask a lady to be solely represented by our network. A lady who has decided she will follow this route will try to optimize her situation by making her picture and profile available to any Agency who will publicise her. No-one has a monopoly on this; take a look on other singles or dating sites.

Q: Do I really have any chance at all in meeting Russian women?
A: There are many people who would like to suggest that the process of meeting a lady from the FSU is like finding a ‘mail order bride’. In truth, this does happen, but less so than you might imagine. The media delight in highlighting bad relationships. The critical aspects for success are be honest with yourself and the ladies, be realistic in your expectations and be prepared to visit the FSU. This makes all the difference. Many men write, but never meet the lady.

Q: Why do so many ladies look to leave their homeland?
A: Since the collapse of the ‘Iron Curtain’ the FSU has been coming to terms with changes in society which happened over 50 years ago outside Communist or totalitarian regimes. The certainty of a job and a salary, education and healthcare have vanished with the free market economy in the FSU. Before perestroika, the population was ‘protected’ by the state, but now it isn’t. Industry, medicine and education are under-resourced. The state trained too many professionals and now cannot afford to pay them. Job insecurity, corruption and nepotism pervade all aspects of public life. Many people lost their savings during the economic crisis of 1998, when the rouble fell to 20% of it’s previous value against the US dollar. Families pool resources, live together in cramped conditions. The provision of accommodation and subsidised energy by the state is disappearing. Three generations can often be living in the same apartment.

Can you imagine how all these problems in daily life affect ordinary people? The employment system relies on contacts; you can be hired or fired quite easily. Employers often withhold salaries for months, not because they can’t pay, they believe it gives their workers more incentive not to leave. Salaries for professionals are often at subsistence level. A University professor outside Moscow or St. Petersburg may only earn $50 a month. Violent crime and drug abuse is on the increase. The rich get richer, the poor, poorer.

Nearly every Russian woman I have met feels a strong sense of responsibility for her family . Typically she will have high personal standards, and believe in self improvement. She seeks love, faithfulness and respect. She wants to be the centre of a unit which holds her husband and family together. She also wants her own life.

You will see Russian men derided on some sites. Do not believe it. I know many hard-working, respectable men, who try their hardest to keep their family provided for. They are not all lazy helpless individuals. The real problem is as a good Russian friend of ours said, ‘It’s not that there aren’t good Russian men. It’s just that there are far more good Russian girls.’ She has just left her home to go to the USA, to marry.

Often there is pressure on a woman to marry (around the age of 20), simply so she might be able to leave the family apartment. Because of the expense of contraception, she may have a child quite soon. But the pressures in society, the changes in a relationship formed so young, can lead to divorce several years on. Other common reasons for divorce are infidelity or alcohol abuse. Don’t forget widowhood through accidents, ill health or violence either. A woman who isn’t married by her mid twenties can be considered an ‘old maid’. Ridiculous in the West, but often considered undesirable.

To conclude, I repeat that every woman has her own personal reasons, but it’s commonly seeking security, better opportunities for herself and family and the real desire to have a loving husband, whom they haven’t been able to find. Surely these can only be seen as brave and praiseworthy.

Q: How do I start the process?
A: Everyone has their own ideas, but in our experience, there are certain approaches which are more successful than others.

When you enter into this endeavour, you may feel you want to ‘test the water’. Do this, by all means but a man writing to a woman who doesn’t appear serious is unlikely to succeed. These ladies have thought long and hard before deciding that they will leave their home if they can find a man who will be a good husband. They’re serious; you should be too.

Q: What should I do next?
A: Decide how you are going to introduce yourself. Think about what is important for you, the qualities you would seek in a wife. Try to write these down in an ordered way. An introductory letter should not be too long. Remember that you need to say something that makes you stand out. A complimentary remark about the ladies picture or profile, something which tells her right away ‘you’ve spotted her across a crowded room’, will make her feel special. The essential rules are be honest and do not boast. Do not try to tell her how much you have materially. Try to talk from your heart about your hopes for the future, what you want in your life, the type of lady you wish to meet. Tell her about your work, your home, your family and ordinary matters; financial matters are not important at this stage.

This is the first step.

Q: I’ve got some nice, positive replies. Help!
A: I’m sure this will happen. Now you need to develop the relationship on paper. In our experience, few ladies are creative in their writing. Ask them questions about themselves. What they want in a husband, ask about their family, friends and job. Encourage them to open up about themselves, but don’t pressurise them. If you get several replies and exchange letters, look for a lady who is trying to develop her relationship with you. They should be asking you questions too. Ensure that she sees your picture at an early stage.

Q: OK, but I’ve still got several ladies I like, now what?
A: A common problem, but here you have to be realistic. If the ladies are scattered across different cities, you’ll never meet them all, unless you can spend a lot of time there. Correspondence can only take you so far. Within a few months of acquaintance you must plan to meet. From then on, it’s up to you. We can advise you as much as you wish, but we can’t decide who is best for you personally.

Q: How can I optimize success?
A: Be realistic in your search, be honest and above all, think hard about the reality of the process before you start. Many men become hurt through failure, although the real reason for their failure is that they simply have not thought about the reality of meeting and marrying a woman from the FSU.

Remember that a lady from the FSU who leaves her home to marry is giving up everything for you. She seeks a better life for herself and her family, but economic benefits are only a small part of this. Do not think, ‘I’m doing her a big favour’, purely because you have a reasonable salary and comfortable living conditions. Do not expect to find a wife with so called ‘traditional values’ which supposes she is happy to be your domestic servant. She will expect to be treated well, with consideration and thought. In return, she will do everything she can to be a good wife and mother. If you enter into this process with your eyes open, you’ll find a woman who will be an equal, but complimentary partner in a marriage.

Q: Many of these ladies are incredibly attractive, do they always look like this?
A: There’s no doubt about it, women (and men) in the FSU like to dress well and look good, if they can. Women love to look feminine and take great pride in their appearance. Their taste in dress is rather more dressy, they wear more make-up.

You’ll also notice how slim many of these ladies are. This is for two reasons. Their diet (which is usually very healthy) and exercise. They’ll walk you into the ground. It’s common for them to put on weight when they move, but it’s also common for them to quickly get this in check. Many ladies are very health conscious and proud of their appearance, and you’ll find your bad habits and diet soon fly out of the window if you marry!

Q: I’ve heard that ladies are ‘scammers’, just trying to make money out of vulnerable single men, is this true?
A: There are incidences of this, but they’re quite easily spotted. Usually, they involve requests for money. This is often preceded by a response to your initial letter which is overly romantic and playing on your feelings. You see a picture of a beautiful woman, she tells you you’re the man of her dreams, and suddenly you’re not thinking straight. Never send money to someone you haven’t met. I know it sounds obvious, but there are suckers who will. Often, these letters are not even being written by a woman! Trust but verify. A decent woman is proud, and would never ask a stranger for money. By all means offer assistance once you’ve met and your relationship is developing, but apply the same rules to a lady in the FSU as you would to one in your home country.

Q: Is there a high failure rate in such marriages?
A: As far as it is possible to tell, there is no higher failure rate than the usual divorce rate in non-FSU countries. Remember the quote ‘there are lies, damn lies and statistics’. It is impossible to gather the statistics in any country, plus the fact that most marriages haven’t been going long enough! My personal opinion is that both partners have to work together to form a successful union. Our experience so far, and that of other friends, is that a lady from the FSU is mainly interested in developing a relationship where husband and wife fulfil mutually supportive roles. They don’t want to compete with you, they want a proper partnership, where both partners are happy with their respective roles.